Beautifully sad – I couldn’t put this book down! An important read about the different facets of grief. A privilege to remember Katie, through the eyes of her father. Thank you Ian.

I did not know how the dialogue would play out, but Ian managed to balance out all of the deep emotions in a way that engaged me to the end. I left inspired challenged refreshed and encouraged! Thank you Ian.

“ My Temporary Daughter” is a well written memoir of a father’s journey through the tragic death of his eldest child and the on going impact. The author’s vulnerability conveys so well the journey authentically and powerfully. The vitality of a dearly loved daughter is contrasted with her untimely death adding to the poignancy of the story.

Reading Ian’s memoir about his daughter Katie moved me deeply, bringing me to tears more than once. Ian takes the reader on a raw emotional journey as he struggles to make sense of the terrible injustice of Katie’s death. He bravely explores the uncomfortable reality that most people don’t want to hear how she died—a truth captured perfectly in the book’s subheading, “Searching for Life in Unpopular Grief.”

And that is exactly what this memoir delivers: a search for life, for hope, and for meaning amid profound loss. Ian tenderly weaves in memories of Katie—her vibrant personality, her passions, her spirit—painting a portrait of a daughter he is justifiably proud of.

I found myself wishing I had known Katie, or seen her perform, even just once. This story also brought me comfort, reminding me that I am not alone in grieving friends and loved ones whose lives have been lost too soon.

My Temporary Daughter: Searching for Life in Unpopular Grief, by Ian Lees, published by TellWell Talent, 13 June 2025

My Temporary Daughter is a father’s memoir on suddenly and unexpectedly losing his 34-year-old daughter in 2021. It had my eyes stinging right from the Prologue which describes how Ian Lees indicates to the ICU that Katie’s life support is to be switched off. Rarely can writing take you so swiftly right into such intense emotion.

I read this book in two days, marvelling at what a gift this father has to honour his daughter’s memory in such a way. It’s not just a book about Katie’s untimely and controversial death nor about the love of a father for his daughter, it is a commentary on what was happening in Australia throughout 2021, as well as the author’s existential journey as he breaks down all of his old beliefs and reluctantly continues with a life that he barely recognises.

Whilst I have spent much of the past four and a half years myself immersed in the world of the vaccine-injured, it has only been Ian’s writing that has truly illuminated the realities of losing someone to VITT. It wasn’t just the biological detail that hit me, but the reality of being a family member not allowed to accompany a loved one to hospital was hard to swallow. I found myself swearing out loud when he was only allowed to visit his daughter for one hour a day while she was in a coma. What happened to our sense of humanity during that time?

I was full of admiration for his bravery in admitting his own vulnerabilities, many of which I could relate to. I too remember looking at “normal” people and wondering how they could go about their daily lives, the anger I felt when triggered by what I felt was a lack of sensitivity to my suffering, and that disconnection with society when it opened up again. It is the little details he shares that those inhabiting the world of the injured and bereaved will clearly remember, but few of us can imagine what it must be like to receive a sympathy card with a stamp saying, “Get Vaccinated” when a vaccine necessitated the sending of such a card. I feel that the true impact of this book will only be felt much, much later when future generations reflect on the context within which vaccine-related bereavement was experienced.

But somehow Ian Lees manages for it not to be a depressing read. It is full of beautiful words of wisdom, pleading “when the ‘other’ speaks, open your heart and mind and listen,” and possibly my favourite part of the book, when he talks about how he now pauses when saying goodbye to the people he loves … “Just in case.” My Temporary Daughter is a book offering lessons in how to speak to someone after loss: “Nothing you can say will hurt any more than what I am hurting now. But what does hurt is saying nothing.” I feel like this book can provide guidance to anyone who feels helpless as they watch someone struggle through grief. And It can provide unexpected inspiration.

For it is also a book of celebration of Katie’s life and spirit. He speaks of his daughter’s “otherworldliness” as if she “didn’t fully belong in human existence.” By his account, Katie was an empath, like so many other people I have come across in the vaccine-injured and -bereaved community, which leads me yet again to wonder whether there is something about such highly sensitive people that puts us at higher risk of harm.

Ian’s book is about Katie’s death but it is about her life too, and I find his words have the potential to inspire us all to live a full life just like Katie did during her thirty four years. I thank him for sharing the life that she had, and hope that we may all become better people because of his bravery in writing so beautifully about his devastating loss.

My Temporary Daughter: Searching for Life in Unpopular Grief, by Ian Lees, published by TellWell Talent, 13 June 2025, ISBN 978-1998482658, is available on Amazon and at the author’s website at https://ianlees.com.au.

This book is beautifully written – a moving witness of the life and impact of Katie Lees. Reading Ian’s book, I expected to feel deep grief, loss and despair but I was caught by surprise at the many moments of gratitude, love, peace and beauty. Thank you sharing your wounds Ian, I hope others find healing in your story.

This book is a very emotionally generous sharing of love and loss. It’s a rich, deep and very personal account of journeying through grief, and what it can mean to both love and lose someone. Feelings of hopelessness and hope are explored with great emotional honesty. While it’s centred on the unfair and untimely death of Ian’s beloved daughter Katie due to Covid vaccine, it is totally relatable for anyone who has experienced grief or who wants to understand it better. Or just read it because it reminds you of the exquisite frailty and resilience of the human condition. Katie’s spirit is brought to life in the unfolding of the story in such a way that you feel you know her, so you too will weep at the loss of her. It is beautifully and skilfully written so much so I literally read it from cover to cover in one evening.

This book is incredibly moving and a must read. Ian does a tremendous job of conveying to the reader his enormous grief of losing a child while simultaneously navigating being thrown into such an unexpected and unjust situation that was highly politicized. Ian does a great job of weaving stories of Katie and her life within his own experiences with her and his grief. It’s impossible to finish the book without experiencing an increased level of humanity and empathy as well as awe and compassion at the loss Ian and his family experienced. I finished the book in one day as I couldn’t put it down.

This is one of the most moving stories I’ve ever read. It is raw, compelling, hard to put down — and, like grief itself, it leaves you with some new perspectives on broader issues.